Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:21 pm
Fri June 15, 2012

Opening Panel Round

Originally published on Sat June 16, 2012 10:54 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone to join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium. For tickets and more information about upcoming shows in Chicago and our show in Cleveland June 28th, you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Maz, some good news. This week Congress asked the TSA to stop pat-downs and other invasive procedures with a particularly vulnerable segment of citizens. Who?

MAZ JOBRANI: The elderly.

SAGAL: No. To hell with them.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Babies.

SAGAL: Nuh-huh.

JOBRANI: Terrorists.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: A particularly vulnerable segment. These are human beings?

SAGAL: Yeah. In addition to being excused from all this, they'll also be able to use the cover of People Magazine as ID.

JOBRANI: Oh, the celebrities.

SAGAL: Celebrities, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A congressional committee told the TSA that they need to improve their image, and the first thing they should do? Stop patting down Beyonce. Said Representative Mike Rogers, quote, "I mean, Beyonce is not going to blow a plane up." True. She might funk it out of the sky, though.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR.: What motivation is there to be in the TSA if you can't feel up Beyonce?

SAGAL: That's the whole point.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.