Intern Net #3: Goodnight Intern

May 8, 2012
Originally published on May 11, 2012 5:02 pm

Monday 2:29pm: Peter's out of the office so we turn the Man United vs. Man City game on the big newsroom TV that hangs over our cubicles and wish we were European.

Monday 2:31pm: An intern who shall remain nameless extracts a People Magazine pull-out poster of celebrity women entitled "Beauty at Every Age" and hangs it in Peter's cubicle.

Tuesday 11:53am: All the potentially funny news stories I've found so far today have either been retracted or discredited by now.

Tuesday 3:20pm:

Ian: Does anyone know Vladimir Putin's middle name?

Peter: Yeah, it's "The."

Tuesday 3:45pm: Eva encourages the reintroduction of the phrase, "Good one, Captain Obvious," after Mike hurls it at Peter. Good one, Mike. I second the motion.

Wednesday 10:16am: Mike and I begin an energetic discussion about "Girls."

Wednesday 11:16am: Mike and I conclude an energetic discussion about "Girls."

Thursday 2:00pm: Carl comes into the office on days when we record the show in Chicago. While everyone else puts the final touches on stories before the read through, Carl and I go into a sound booth to tape the voicemail messages for last week's winners. Needless to say, my time in that booth with Carl has become the closest I've ever gotten to knowing what Seven Minutes in Heaven is all about.

This week surpasses all possible glorious expectations. The kids over at Re:Sound ask Carl if he'd be willing to read "Goodnght Moon" for a show they're working on. And I get to record it. And it is spectacular. So spectacular I ask Carl to read it twice. Not because he needs to, but because I know the mathematical impossibility of encountering anything so swoon-worthy again in my life.

Friday 11:11am: Emily gives us all signed copies of her new book, "Project Jackalope!"

Friday 12:00pm: Peter asks where the People Magazine's "Beauty at Every Age" poster came from.

Friday 1:54pm: Lorna takes a break from editing and starts flipping through the magazines that have piled up on our conference table. She finds a Q&A column dedicated to answering the question, "How do I arrange pillows on my sofa?" Everyone agrees that it is the most useless Do It Yourself guide of all time and Mike and Ian plan to feature it on "How To Do Everything" or maybe a new show called "How To Do Things You Really Don't Need To Know How To Do."

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