Title Schmitle

May 16, 2012
Originally published on September 4, 2014 1:27 pm
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.



You're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm your host Ophira Eisenberg. And with me is the tallest puzzle writer in the puzzle world. John Chaneski.

JOHN CHANESKI: That's me. Hello.


CHANESKI: Six five in case you're wondering.

EISENBERG: And we have our next contestants. Joining us right now we have Aviv Rubenstein.



EISENBERG: Hello Aviv. And Tom Costello.


EISENBERG: Aviv, you are a musician and a filmmaker?


EISENBERG: Wow, that's fantastic. What do you play as a musician?

RUBENSTEIN: I play the guitar and I sing. Or try to sing.

EISENBERG: I love that, you're very modest, clearly, you're very modest. I'm sure you're a great singer.

RUBENSTEIN: I have a great beard.

EISENBERG: You have an awesome beard.


EISENBERG: That is true. You know, you know thyself, it's very important. Welcome. And Tom Costello, now is it that you used to work at ESPN, or you work there?

TOM COSTELLO: I used to yeah.

EISENBERG: OK. And what did you cover?

COSTELLO: I worked on several things, but one of my first assignments was to go to a golf tournament, and I had never been to a golf tournament before, I'd never driven a cart and I had to drive around the camera person and learn the etiquette of when you don't pass in front of golfers. But during a practice round, I was covering Tiger Woods, and had to decide, do I drive on the fairway behind him, or drive in front of him, and at one point he was walking and he looked over, and he saw me just kind of veering wildly.


COSTELLO: At one point the look of confusion turned to a look of, kind of, terror and I just missed him, at least a couple of feet. He was never really in danger, but - he just kind of looked like it.


EISENBERG: All right. We're in good shape for this game, I believe. This game is called tidal schmidal.

CHANESKI: That's right. We've taken the titles of some classic books and movies, and we've reworked them by changing exactly one letter, given new plot descriptions, we want you to guess the reworked titles. For example, in this classic novel, a feisty southern belle realizes that tomorrow is always another day. She gives up on her plantation, moves to Tuscany and runs away with a nice Chianti. Ophira, what's the title?

EISENBERG: It's gone with the wine.

CHANESKI: Gone with the wine is correct.

EISENBERG: Gone with the wine. Oh audience is figuring it out and nodding.

CHANESKI: Contestants you got that?


CHANESKI: OK. Nevertheless ring in when you know the answer.


CHANESKI: Whoever gets more right moves on to our Ask Me One More final round. Here we go.

In this page turner, we discover that an Italian Renaissance painter and inventor left hidden messages in his art that revealed the secret formulae to the world's most popular soft drink. Aviv.

RUBENSTEIN: The Da Vinci Coke.

CHANESKI: The Da Vinci Coke is right.

EISENBERG: The Da Vinci Coke.


CHANESKI: That you get a point for. Very good.

The film was about two cowboys who discover forbidden passion at a famous landmark in the Roman district of Trevis(ph). Aviv.

RUBENSTEIN: Broke back fountain.

CHANESKI: Broke back fountain is right.


CHANESKI: Very good. In the second volume of the "Twilight" series popular with teens, the vampires and werewolves are all put on antidepressants to cheer them up. Tom.

COSTELLO: New mood?

CHANESKI: New mood is right.

EISENBERG: New mood.

CHANESKI: Way to go Tom.


EISENBERG: Can you imagine undead and depressed? That is a tough life.

CHANESKI: What a drag that would be.

EISENBERG: I don't feel like barking at the moon.


CHANESKI: This 1955 movie is about a moody teenager with a red jacket who talks and talks and talks and never gives anyone a moment's peace. Tom.

COSTELLO: Rebel without a pause?



CHANESKI: Rebel without a pause.


EISENBERG: Aviv you shook his hand because you - you think that's pretty brilliant right?

RUBENSTEIN: Yeah, that was a good one.

EISENBERG: That is a good one. Yeah.

CHANESKI: This 2011 memoire tells a story of how Tina Faye stood up to bullies in high school who made fun of her trousers covered in small soft plants like those on the side of a tree. Tom.

COSTELLO: Mossey pants?

CHANESKI: Mossey pants is right.

EISENBERG: Mossey pants.


CHANESKI: This 1969 satirical novel is about a lot of things; the bombing of Dresden in World War II, time travel, an alien zoo, and most importantly a meat processing facility which is just OK, not great. Aviv.

RUBENSTEIN: Slaughter house fine.

CHANESKI: Slaughter house fine is correct.


CHANESKI: We are tied up and we're going to go to a tiebreaker from Ophira, can you please?

EISENBERG: This is very exciting.


EISENBERG: And just think at the beginning you both heard this game and you were like what is this? And then just snap, snap, snap. To the tiebreaker. All right, hands on bells. Migrant workers during the Great Depression angrily attempt to get their teacher to change a D minus...


RUBENSTEIN: The grades of wrath.


EISENBERG: The grades of wrath.

CHANESKI: The grades of wrath. Aviv pulls it out the last second, nice work.


EISENBERG: Another hand for Tom everybody.


EISENBERG: Congratulations Aviv. You'll be moving on to our Ask Me One More final round. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.