Double Feature

May 24, 2012
Originally published on September 4, 2014 1:29 pm
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All right, we have our next two contestants. Let's welcome Kyle Warren and Ashley Bogard. Hello.


EISENBERG: Ashley, have you ever been on a game show before?

ASHLEY BOGARD: No, I have not.

EISENBERG: Did you watch them as a kid?

BOGARD: I liked to watch "The Price is Right".

EISENBERG: Oh yeah, of course.

BOGARD: Yeah, right, of course. Yeah, yeah. But I had a little bit of a problem with Bob Barker.


BOGARD: I wrote him an anti fan letter. Yeah.

EISENBERG: And you had... what was your problem with Bob Barker?

BOGARD: He was very rude to an elderly lady after she lost.

EISENBERG: Aw. What happened?

BOGARD: Yeah, so - he just pushed her off the stage.


BOGARD: Yeah. I thought he should treat everyone equally, even like, you know, the hostesses, you know that he loves so much, you know. He should treat them all the same.

EISENBERG: Absolutely.

BOGARD: Even the elderly, you know.

EISENBERG: Are you also Canadian?


EISENBERG: Oh, OK, that's just one of our slogans.


EISENBERG: I like you alot. I can tell already. That is a beautiful story.


EISENBERG: Welcome. Kyle Warren.


EISENBERG: Hello. I understand you're a playwright?


EISENBERG: And can you tell me what you've written?



WARREN: Yeah, I've written a couple of plays.

EISENBERG: Oh, congratulations.

WARREN: Oh thank you.

EISENBERG: Do you have a game show background?

WARREN: I don't, no.

EISENBERG: Never been on a show before?

WARREN: I've never even seen one.

EISENBERG: Have you done any trivia?

WARREN: I have. I was recently a member of a winning trivia team at the Tournament of Champions.

EISENBERG: Ah, you were a champion?

WARREN: I was a champion.

EISENBERG: And what did you win?

WARREN: We won a $60 bar tab, like you do.


WARREN: $100 gift certificate to a record store, and a bike, a mountain bike.

EISENBERG: Wow. All right, well this next game is called Double Feature. Because they say in Hollywood the best way to sell your film, of course, is to compare it to previously successful movies. So you might describe your sci-fi romantic comedy as "Inception" meets "Pretty Woman".

In this game, we're going to pitch you an idea that combines two famous films. The catch is that the two films share one important word in common. For example, Jonathan: A middle-aged man played by Steve Carrel has his world turned upside down when his wife asks for a divorce. He finds salvation when he walks through the Kalahari Desert and gets hit in the head with a Coke bottle that falls from the sky.

JONATHAN COULTON: The title of that movie is "The Gods Must be Crazy, Stupid Love".


COULTON: It is the combination of, combination of "The Gods Must be Crazy" and "Crazy, Stupid Love".

EISENBERG: Yes, exactly. And who doesn't want to see that movie? All right contestants, so your job is to tell us the new title that is a combination of the two movies that inspire the pitch. OK, and remember that the films have a key word in common. We will begin.

Everyone likes films with talking animals, right? Of course, but get this. In this film a gigantic gorilla has a gigantic stammering problem. Fortunately, he carries Geoffrey Rush to the top of the Empire State Building. They're thinking.

A giant, gigantic gorilla... gigantic stammering problem. Kyle.

WARREN: King Kong's Speech.

EISENBERG: King Kong's Speech.


EISENBERG: I know, it takes a little while to put it together, right? All right, let's see if you can get this next one. In this coming of age teen Western, a clash between a perpetually stoned surfer played by Sean Penn, and his stern history teacher finally comes to a head as they face off in a gun fight, as the 12 o'clock bell sounds.

WARREN: Fast Times at Ridgemont High Noon.

EISENBERG: Fast Times at Ridgemont, High Noon.


EISENBERG: Indeed. Picture this. George Clooney and Ryan Gosling. That's it, just picture that.

Now imagine them playing cute little birds, oh yeah, involved in the political intrigue of a presidential campaign during their annual migration in Antarctica. Morgan Freeman narrates.


WARREN: The Ides of March of the Penguins.

EISENBERG: Yes, indeed.


EISENBERG: Ashley, don't get discouraged. You've got loads of time.

BOGARD: Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah.

EISENBERG: Loads of time. Let's take the sparkling wit of a Jane Austen romance and make it into a real tear-jerker. As soon as Elizabeth and Darcy get married we find out that she's dying of Lou Gehrig's Disease.

WARREN: Pride and Prejudice of The Yankees.

EISENBERG: Yes indeed. You're correct Kyle.


EISENBERG: Staring Derek Jeter.

A movie actor helps a young sister/actress played by Barbra Streisand find fame and master of the lightsaber. Even as age, alcoholism and the dark side of the Force send his own career into a downwards spiral.

WARREN: A Star Wars is Born.

EISENBERG: Star Wars is Born.


EISENBERG: Ashley, how's it going?

BOGARD: Yeah. I'm still here, yeah. Yeah.

EISENBERG: Great, OK. We've got a few more; you're still in good shape.


EISENBERG: A former assassin wakes up from a coma and sets out to take her bloody revenge on the four associates who betrayed her: Napoleon, Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan and Socrates.

WARREN: Kill Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

EISENBERG: Kill Bill and Ted's...


EISENBERG: This sounds so fun. Ashley.

BOGARD: I know, yeah.

EISENBERG: I'm sorry. We loved having you on the stage.

BOGARD: Yeah. I know.

EISENBERG: We would love to have you back any time.

BOGARD: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Thanks.

EISENBERG: So thank you so much. How about a hand for Ashley?


EISENBERG: Congratulations Kyle, you're moving on to our Ask Me One More final round.

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