Ask Me Another
11:02 pm
Thu May 10, 2012

The Dictionary Of Dr. Moreau

Originally published on Fri May 11, 2012 10:52 am

Transcript

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

You're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER, NPR's show for those of us who read dictionaries for fun. Ah thick Oxford and the Beach, what more could anyone want? I'm your host, Ophira Eisenberg and with me is Resident Puzzle Expert, John Chaneski.

JOHN CHANESKI: Hi everyone.

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EISENBERG: And next up on ASK ME ANOTHER, we have Janet Bradlow...

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EISENBERG: ...and Ned Tyrrell.

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EISENBERG: Now Ned, you ... you're a math major or you have a math degree.

NED TYRRELL: Yes, yes.

EISENBERG: Oh that's impressive, I like that, it's a lot of flipping fractions.

TYRRELL: Oh thank you.

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EISENBERG: For years. Now Janet, so you're no stranger to the puzzles.

JANET BRADLOW: No.

EISENBERG: Your mother started you with puzzles in second grade?

BRADLOW: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Evil taskmaster.

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EISENBERG: And then you've participated in puzzle crossword tournaments for a while?

BRADLOW: Yes, since 1978.

EISENBERG: Wow and you were on a three night Jeopardy run in 2010?

BRADLOW: Yes.

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EISENBERG: And now, of course, the height of it all, ASK ME ANOTHER.

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EISENBERG: All right. This game is called The Dictionary of Dr. Moreau.

CHANESKI: The Island of Dr. Moreau is a classic H.G. Wells science fiction novel, in which the Doctor experiments on animals, creating horrific hybrids that eventually, spoiler alert, rise up and destroy him.

EISENBERG: Mm-hmm, yes, which is why I don't eat turducken.

CHANESKI: Smart move, smart.

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EISENBERG: Weird.

CHANESKI: In our game, we'll be making hybrids of phrases that have the same animal name in them. For example, if I said, a piece of dung so revered, it can't be criticized. You would tell me that is a sacred cow pie, combining sacred cow and cow pie. You got that?

EISENBERG: No, they're looking at us like, what are you talking about you evil, evil scientists? Remember guys, the animal will be in the middle of the two phrases, it will be at the end of one phrase and the beginning of the other. Whoever gets the most right will move onto our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show. Ready?

BRADLOW: Ready.

EISENBERG: Good.

CHANESKI: Good, here we go. This fast food chain is finger licking good and infectiously itchy.

EISENBERG: Ned.

CHANESKI: Ned.

TYRRELL: Kentucky Fried Chicken Pox?

CHANESKI: Yes.

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CHANESKI: Auto mechanics like swinging on this playground structure.

EISENBERG: I love the looks of, what could you...

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CHANESKI: Ned.

TYRRELL: Wrench monkey bars?

CHANESKI: No not... Yes Janet.

BRADLOW: Grease monkey bars.

CHANESKI: Grease monkey bars is right.

EISENBERG: Yes.

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CHANESKI: Janet for the steal, very good.

EISENBERG: I know. You kind of helped each other, well done.

CHANESKI: This patriotic animal has earned at least 21 merit badges, including one for premature hair loss. Janet?

BRADLOW: Bald eagle scout.

CHANESKI: Yes, bald eagle scout.

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CHANESKI: Good work. It's a taunt, the artist known as Yusuf Islam heard when he refused to enter the haunted house.

TYRRELL: Scaredy Cat Stevens.

CHANESKI: Scaredy Cat Stevens is right.

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EISENBERG: Oh yeah.

CHANESKI: Tight game.

EISENBERG: It's tight right?

CHANESKI: Just saying it's a tight game, it is tied right now yes.

EISENBERG: Whoa, OK.

CHANESKI: Let's see what happens with this one. Dr. Seuss' longishly titled book about sexy stockings. You might hear about it in an aquarium. Yes Ned.

TYRRELL: One fish, two fish, red fish, net stockings.

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CHANESKI: All right, that was very good. I'm going to let you... let you try going through it from the beginning to end, go.

TYRRELL: One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, net stockings.

CHANESKI: Yes, very good.

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EISENBERG: That's part of the adult series of Dr. Seuss. Ned, you have won by one point.

CHANESKI: Way to go.

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EISENBERG: Well done.

CHANESKI: Let's hear it for Janet.

EISENBERG: Janet Bradlow, you're an amazing contestant.

CHANESKI: Nice work.

EISENBERG: Thank you so much.

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EISENBERG: Ned, congratulations. You'll be coming back for our final round at the end of the show.

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EISENBERG: all right, wow that was an exciting game John.

CHANESKI: I'm all a tingle.

EISENBERG: I know, it's very exciting. Oh by the way, can you give the audience a clue as to who our mystery guest is? A second clue.

CHANESKI: Oh sure yes.

EISENBERG: Yes.

CHANESKI: It's my turn for mystery guest clue.

EISENBERG: Yes it is.

CHANESKI: According to Michael Kors, our mystery guest is quote, "a modern Noel Coward with a dash of Aunty Mame and Liberace thrown in for good measure," unquote.

EISENBERG: Wow. Looking forward to that coming up. Jonathan, I have a question for you.

JONATHAN COULTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: Well actually I'm going to tell you something.

COULTON: OK.

EISENBERG: It could embarrass you.

COULTON: Oh, I'm used to that.

EISENBERG: I recently found out that in college, you were involved in some very questionable activities.

COULTON: I was young.

EISENBERG: Yeah. By that I mean acapella groups.

COULTON: Yes.

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EISENBERG: You were part of something called the Wizard Poofs or something?

COULTON: No, they were not called the Wizard Poofs, that's a ridiculous name.

EISENBERG: Is that some sort of Harry Potter...

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COULTON: They were called the Whiff and Poofs.

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COULTON: I am proud of my acapella heritage.

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EISENBERG: Oh audience.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.